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What day is it? Oh yeah...June 1st. I'm still not pregnant. I had a…

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Oh NO!
What day is it? Oh yeah...June 1st. I'm still not pregnant. I had a complete meltdown the other night. Poor Chris. He doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Nobody knows what to do. Ugh. It's so heartbreaking.

Last Wednesday I had a follicle scan. My left ovary was visible and appeared to have a beautiful plump follicle forming. My right ovary could not be found. It was hidden behind my intestines. Lovely. The tech did her best. So much so I ached for a couple of days. I ran the paperwork over to the other clinic where my doctor is and she wasn't there. The infertility nurse came in and said there was nothing found. I said what about the left ovary and she said it's probably a cyst. It looks like you're just not going to ovulate at all this month. Oh I said. She said she would have my doctor take a look at in on Friday and she'll get back to me with what she thinks but not to get my hopes up. I have few options because of my poor response to 3 rounds of Clomid and my age. She said to keep using my OPKs, wait for my LH surge and call her when I start my period. All my OPKs have been negative.

The very next day I ovulated.

WHAT THE FUCK?! I'm so fucking pissed off. Fucking piece of fuck. WHAT?

Still no word from my doctor. No word from the nurse. I am done. I'm firing my doctor, the nurses, the hospital, the meds and the treatment. They are all morons. I'm officially off the reservation....

I will do this MYSELF!

Fuck me man...
  • *hugs tightly* I'm so sorry sweetie. :( I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I'm feeling something similar. My heart truly goes out to you.

    love you. <3

    Edited at 2011-06-01 09:46 pm (UTC)
    • You are a sweetie. I know alot of what I say is technical fertility jargon, but I REALLY appreciate the empathy. I hope things turn around for you at work. I don't know how you do it. If someone told me to hem my pants and get a pedicure I would tell them to go fuck themselves, do something dramatic like grab their pencil cup and throw it onto the floor and leave. You truly have resolve my friend. ;) Love yas baby girl
  • I feel ya, hon. The meds my doc has me on (prometria) has my cycle all sorts of wonky. I think I was still having my period when I ovulated this month. I'm so confused with what my body is doing that I just want to throw up my hands. But I'm hanging in there if you are *hugs*
    • I know you feel me. I know you do. ~hugs~ If money were no object this would all be done. I would have flown myself wherever I needed to go to see doctors and endos who specialize in my particular type of infertility.

      Prometria...never heard of it. Is it a generic progesterone supplement? If I test low again this month I'll probably end up on it too. As I understand it women who need it take it *after* they ovulate. Is that right?

      Are you temping? I can't believe I wasn't doing it regularly before. I've ruled alot of problems out and confirmed others with my BBT charts.

      Anywho...yes, I'm hanging in there. I do not give up easily. I just hate the fact I have to fight so damn hard for something that should happen so naturally. I know I'm doing everything right. I'm just so frustrated by the clowns over at the hospital. =P

      • Prometria: my doc suspects that the reason I kept losing my pregnancies was because my body didn't produce enough progesterone naturally (given my extremely low hormone counts each time). So I'm supposed to take it the day I ovulate until either day 35 of my cycle or after 4 months if I'm pregnant. The problem I'm finding is that I have a short cycle (24-26 most months), so I'm only skipping a day or two with pills, and - like I said - it extended the length of my period so I'm pretty sure I was ovulating while still having it. ICK.

        And yes, wish it would just happen and happen right for once dammit. Or hey, maybe you'll get lucky and win the lottery :-)
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